Thoughts of why

Reading quotes for survival, something like: If you blame others for everything you will be sad. If you know it comes from you, you will be happy. Stopping and looking around, at this table, these coffee cups that look like the ones my grandparents used to drink out of up at the mountains. Remember when we used to go visit? I never wondered how they ended up deciding to live all the way up at the bottom of a snowy mountain. Why they bought a purple carpet. Why they belonged together, or even if they did. I never wondered if they were really happy. I do remember thinking they must be bored. Feeling that itchyness in the morning watching them chew their cantalope and sip their second cup of foldgers. Hearing the clock tick and the dishwasher go on. I never once though, this is what i want when i get old? But I did think, get me out of here I want to hear conversations, I want to get into trouble! But now, I do think about these things> At this time I am focused on being happy, surviving and leaving fear a little bit behind.Who do I miss, and who do they miss? 


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